How Does Open Adoption Affect the Child? [Hear From Adoptees]
Are you pregnant and wondering, "How does open adoption affect the child?" If you’re asking this question, it’s probably because you love your baby and want to know they’ll be okay. You might be worried they’ll grow up feeling abandoned. But open adoption gives your child the chance to grow up knowing who you are and why you made this decision. In this article, you’ll hear from adoptees about their personal experiences. If you have additional questions or want to speak to someone who understands what you're going through, contact us online or call 1-800-ADOPTION.
How Do Adopted Children Feel About Adoption?
Most adopted children grow up knowing their story from the very beginning. It becomes just another part of who they are.
Cole, who was adopted as a newborn, puts it this way: “It’s just like you’re growing up knowing how to spell your name. I’m growing up knowing that I was adopted.”
When adoption is openly discussed at home, it feels normal. It’s not a secret or something to be ashamed of — it’s just part of life. Many adoptees say they’ve never felt confused about being adopted. It’s simply their reality.
Every adopted child is different, and so are their relationships with their birth parents. Some may feel curious. Others may feel sad, frustrated, grateful or even indifferent. These feelings can shift as your child grows up and better understands their adoption story. One of the biggest advantages of open adoption is the chance to answer your child's questions as they come. You can explain why you chose adoption and remind them how deeply you love them. “My birth parents, like a lot of birth parents, are off living cool lives — they completed their education and career goals, they’re both married and have families,” Diana, an adoptee, says. “They made an incredibly tough call, but it opened up a lot of opportunities for all of us, and that’s something I’ve always respected.”How Do Adopted Children Feel About Their Biological Parents?
Are Open Adoptions Better for the Child?
Open adoption has major benefits for children. Research shows that kids who have contact with their birth parents tend to feel more positive about their adoption. They often experience less confusion, fewer identity struggles and a stronger sense of self.
Here’s why open adoption can be better for your baby:
-
They get to be loved by two families.
-
They'll know where they came from.
-
They can get answers to important questions.
-
They won't feel abandoned.
-
They can form a strong relationship with you.
“Adoption means you have two family,” one adopted child explains. “One is the family that gave you life, and the other family is the family that gave you a home.”
When you choose open adoption, you’re not stepping out of your child’s life. Rather, you’re stepping into a different role as a birth parent.
Adoption can be explained in simple, age-appropriate ways that make sense. Many adoptees grow up knowing exactly who everyone is and how they fit into their lives. Seven-year-old Alexander says, “Why my parents adopted me is because my birth mom had one child and she worked a lot, so she gave me to my other family. Now I live with them, and I like my life.” Children in open adoptions grow up knowing their background. They know their birth parents didn’t "give them away" but instead made a thoughtful, loving choice.Is Open Adoption Confusing for Kids?
Adoption Can Give Your Child a Brighter Future
When you choose adoption, you’re not giving up. You’re choosing love, stability and opportunity for your baby. And your child may grow up feeling grateful for the chance you gave them.
“I feel no resentment towards my biological parents; in fact, it’s quite the opposite. I’m grateful for what they did. One day, I’m going to meet them. And when I do, I’m going to thank them for what they did for me,” says John, an adoptee.
If you’re ready to learn more or talk to someone about open adoption, we’re here for you. Fill out our form or call 1-800-ADOPTION to speak with an adoption specialist who can help you take the next step.
Disclaimer
Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. American Adoptions provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.